Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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