if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
