I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
