Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
