i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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