I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
