...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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