IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
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