I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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