I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
