i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
