I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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