Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
