Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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