Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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