yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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