I am spending my child support on dildos
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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