As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
