Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
