I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
