i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
