I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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