just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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