Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm at about main and main street
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize