It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
