"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
