good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
