so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
