I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
