The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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