This girl is more easily done than said...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize