I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
