Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
