Christians are straight up FREAKS
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
