u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
