I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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