The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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