haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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