What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
two words: eviction party
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
