Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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