Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
