im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
