i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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