I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
