I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
