When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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