How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
