TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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