Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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