I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
