he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
