found the other keg... it's in the tree
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
