She said her name was "party"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
