This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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