I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
