Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
