I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
