If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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