i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
