do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
